Rising of the Moon
by Amaya Natsuya
Summary: Remus is an abandoned, lonely werewolf who is invited to Hogwarts by Albus Dumbledore. This is currently on hiatus for a massive, as in start from scratch, rewrite.
1. And Here in the Night

Rising of the Moon

Part One

Year One

Element One

And Here in the Night

**Authors Notes:**

This will later be slash, but since they're all eleven, everyone is safe for some time.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

This started as a drabble, but it. . . evolved. I like the Maruaders begins stories, and I thought I'd write one of my own, and then the web sort of. . . grew. It's a long story, but I have a lot finished, and it actually might end up spanning this generation and Harry's. I haven't decided that yet.

Anyway, a lot of stories have Remus with a loving family, but with the way werewolves are treated in the books, I thought that Remus wouldn't have a loving family. That maybe it all started out sort of like. . . this.

Please, enjoy.

**oOooOo**

Remus Lupin sat on his nest on the floor, a single ratty blanket and a small, hard pillow, and stared at the blank stone wall. He was dressed in nothing but his under robe, a simple white sleevless shift. Well, it was supposed to be white. Days of going unwashed and time after time of washing it without soap and in hard water had made it smelly and turned the color a dull gray.

It was mid-summer, and his small windowless room, lit only by the small holes near the rafters that allowed the air in but no breeze, was stifiling hot. He was sweating and sticky, his long greasy hair sticking to his neck and face in hot clumps. The honey colored mass, mixed with chestnut streaks, reached to his waist, and fell in scragly strings. It hadn't been cut since he'd arrived at the orphanage at the age of five when he had recieved The Bite.

Two small and seemingly insignifigent words that made all the difference in his miserable life. If he hadn't left his house to go play outside with his elder brother, if he hadn't wandered into the woods while playing hide and seek, if he had only died, even, then he wouldn't be in the situation he was.

Eleven year old Remus Lupin was a werewolf. The bite that marked him as such was just under his arm, on his back where his shoulder connected to the trunk of his body. It had stayed red and fresh looking to this day, small puncture marks in the shape of the werewolf's mouth. Tiny little dots that followed the pattern of the beast's teeth. He had been bitten at the age of five when he and his older brother had sneaked from the house to play a game of hide and go seek in the bright moonlight in the woods near their home. Justin was fine. He had not even seen the werewolf. Remus, who had been known as John at the time, was not. He had been bitten, then disowned when they discovered that once a month he would turn into a bloodthirsty monster.

Stripped of his family and name, Remus renamed himself after the supposed first werewolf--he was smart for a five year old, always reading instead of playing the "manly" games his father would have liked--and Lupin, his own personal joke as it was a twisted form of lupis, the canine family in Latin.

And all of that was how he came to this. A lonely little abandoned boy with no history and a name that he had given himself stuck in a hot room with no windows that had a locked door, a silver door handle, no way out, and without a bed. There were three things in his room besides his ratty blanket nest the first being a small, battered trunk where he put his things during the full moon, kept the only robe he owned, and the only books he owned. The only thing that kept him sane in this small, empty room. The second was a bucket he kept water in, his weekly rations, and the third was a chamber pot. He was allowed out of the room once a week, and all his meals were passed to him through the locked cat-flap at the bottom of the door.

He moved and a soft jangle from his dogtags, the tags that marked him as the monster he was, caught his attention. He could be denied many things by those tags. A job, medical care, service in a resteraunt, admission to a school, things that he needed to have to get by. They did have their uses, his blood type, his name, what he was allergic to, his next of kin--currently blank--and things like that, but it was hardly helpful now.

He sighed and put his head in his hands. He was eleven years old and should have received a letter by now accepting him to a wizarding school, but no such letter ever came. The ones that had all turned him down, and several of the other headmasters had come to taunt the small werewolf that had the gall to ask to be admitted to their school. Remus felt his eyes fill with tears. He was so weak, so stupid to believe that anyone could ever want him.

"All I want is someone to care," Remus muttered brokenly. The only time he was allowed to talk was when he was alone. "Is that so much to ask?"

But appearently it was, and Remus fell into a fitful sleep full of nightmares.  
**oOooOo**

"I have heard you have a magical student here," Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, turned to the headmaster of the orphanage. "I thought this place was only for squibs."

"It was, but the ministry got a male werewolf dumped on their doorstep so I got it dumped on me. I can see why its parents didn't want it, horrid creatures they are. I can't see why they didn't just kill it, though. Would have made everyone's lives a bit easier for us," The man sneered at the thought of the werewolf that soiled his perfect home.

"May I speak to the boy?" Dumbledore frowned. Surely the boy would be getting a magical education. "Where is he going to school?"

"Who'd want _it_?" The headmaster snorted, incredulous. "No, it's stuck here. I ain't teaching it, that's for certain, and the ministry sure ain't. Its had a buch of schools reject it already. Not that it could even pay for a school if it could actually go."

"He needs to learn control!" Dumbledore protested. "He has magical abilities that must be trained!"

"It has no reason for control, it'd only turn to evil."

Dumbledore wore a tight-lipped expression, eyes dark with anger. "May I speak with him, Smyth?"

"Of course. The little rat's probably got its room in a right mess, it can't do anything right, but you can talk to it, sure."

Dumbledore did, quite frankly, depise this man, but he also needed to speak to the boy. "Lead the way, then."

Smyth shrugged and lead Dumbledore into a remote part of the orphanage, deary and molding with age. "Why is he so far from the others?"

"They didn't want it near them," Smyth turned the corner into a hall. "We keep it locked in here most of the time so it can't hurt anyone else."

"You lock him in a room?" Dumbledore demanded, trying to remain calm. "How could you do such a thing to a child?"

"Don't get me wrong, Headmaster Dumbledore, but this thing ain't no _child_. It's a werewolf and I treat it right proper. I'm only concered with keeping my students safe! You might think you're the smartest man that ever lived but you take it from me, that thing ain't fit for society."

"You listen to me!" Dumbledore roared, "Werewolves are harmless people every night but that of the full moon! If he is uncontrolable, then that is _entirely your fault_!"

Smyth cringed back, unable to stand up to the angry headmaster.

They arrived at a small door set in a cracked plaster wall and Smyth unlocked it, pulling it open. "You've got a visitor," Smyth sneered.

"Is it my parents?" The small voice, through raspy, sounded so hopeful. "Have they come to take me home?"

"You idiot," Smyth sneered, stepping forward and slapping the boy. "No one wants a monster like _you_."

"I-I'm sorry--" A tearful voice whispered, crackling slightly. "I just thought--"

"You _don't_ think, you hear me, wolf? You are a werewolf. An animal--" Smyth slapped him again and this time a cry passed the boy's lips.

"Get out, Smyth," Dumbledore snarled. His power seemed to radiate from his body. "_Now_."

"Lock the door when you've finished speaking to it," Smyth threw the headmaster a heavy silver key.

"Go."

Smyth fled down the hall.

Dumbledore entered the room, flipping on a small light. A child of about eleven sat huddled in one corner, head bent. His light brown hair was greasy and hung in lank strings to the middle of his back. He was obviously underfed, and malnourised, and no one appeared to be taking proper care of him after the nights of the full moon. Wolf gold eyes stared at the headmaster from a pale face covered in partially dried tear tracks. The two stared at each other before the boy softly asked, "Who are you?" And then cringed.  
**oOooOo**

Remus looked up at the sound of voices approaching. One was a deep man's voice. Maybe his father's! The door unlocked and Remus could feel the hope within him swell. "You've got a visitor," Mr. Smyth all but sneered.

Remus sat up at attention, hope shining through golden eyes. "Is it my parents? Have they come to take me home?" He winced as his voice rasped slightly.

"You idiot," Remus could hear the sneer in his voice. "No one wants a monster like _you_." A slap accented his words.

"I-I'm sorry--" He could feel the tears falling down his cheeks, his voice cracked, and his shoulders fell in total defeat. "I just thought--"

"You _don't_ think, you hear me, wolf? You're just a werewolf, an animal--" Another slap. Remus clenched his eyes shut but didn't manage to hold back a cry.

"Get out, Smyth," The new voice snarled. "_Now_."

Remus ignored the rest of the conversation and noticed footsteps retreating down the hall when an old man entered. His hair fell past his waist and his beard could have touched the floor were it just a few inches longer. Remus knew he was staring, he'd probably be hit for it later, when he croaked, "Who are you?"

He realized his mistake as it happened and cringed, waiting for the sure-to-come slap that always accompanied his speech. When no blow fell he risked a look up. The man was watching his carefully, eyes raking over his greasy, dirty hair and pitifully thin frame. "I am Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardary."

"Have you come to taunt me, too?" Remus finally asked, eyes filling with tears determined to speak his mind even though the man would probably beat him. "The headmaster of Logan's Academy did. I know I can't go to school there, you don't have to tell me. I'd just be a danger to everyone. I know that. I guess I really am useless. Can't even learn magic without messing it up. Maybe my parents were right. I should just up and die. They disowned me, you know. I don't have their last name anymore, even. I gave this one to myself. I can take rejection. It's okay."

"Remus," Dumbledore began. Remus shuddered when no slap came, and Dumbledore frowned. "How long has it been since you've heard your own name?" He watched the child closely as he answered.

"I tell it to myself everyday so I don't forget. It's on my tags, too," Remus told him, cringing back again.

"When was the last time someone else said it to you?"

"Since before they. . . before they knew." Remus sniffed. "It's--It's all right. Just. . . get it over with. I know I can't go, so just say it. Mr. Lupin, we can't accept you--" He broke off, eyes filling with tears and had to begin again. "Mr. Lupin, we can't accept you--can't accept you into Hogwarts S-s-school of Witchcraft and Wizardry because you are a werewolf--" He choked, hiding his face to hide his tears. He had so hoped that maybe, just maybe there would be one school that would let him enter, let him enroll. It really hurt to finally have his one hope, one final and only dream, die. Dumbledore sat down next to him with a surprising spryness that Remus wouldn't have guessed he possessed. Remus looked up, shocked that anyone would sit next to him, much less by choice. He was no longer worried about being slapped. If the headmaster was going to hit him, he surely would have done so by then.

"Mr. Lupin, you have been accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardary despite your condition." Dumbledore finally said.

"See I knew--" Remus processed the words. "That's not very funny."

"I would say that's a good thing since it wasn't a joke," Sincere warmth shone through sparkling blue eyes partially convered with half-moon specticals.

"You mean it? I can--I can go to Hogwarts?" Remus asked, breathless in shock and hope. Then his face fell. "I don't have any money, sir. I still can't go. I'm sorry, sir. It was nice of you to offer, but I--"

"We will deal with money matters later, Remus. But do you want to go to Hogwarts?"

Remus's heart began to pound. He had wanted nothing more that that since he had first heard his parents tell stories of their days in the school. "Could I really?" He breathed.

"Just say yes," Dumbledore instructed. "And you will be able to go."

"Yes, yes, please yes," Remus trembled from head to toe. "Just tell me what I have to do."

"We will have someone come a fetch you to buy robes and a wand," Dumbledore grinned, and turned away. "Here is your letter."

Remus took the parchment and licked him lips. "Thank you, sir," He breathed. "Thank you." He was ready to throw his arms around the aging headmaster when he stopped, remembering the last time he tried to hug anyone. He'd been throw roughly away, harshly hitting a wall, then hit for presuming that he was allowed to even touch someone else and risk infecting them.

Albus noticed, and smiled, gathering the boy into his arms and hugging him tightly. Remus tensed for a moment, but sucumbed to the hug, clinging to the elderly man as tightly as he could. He hadn't been hugged like that since--since _before_.

Then, with one last smile, and a swish of his robes, Albus Dumbledore was gone.  
**oOooOo**

It was several days later before he was allowed to go to Diagon Alley with the letter Dumbledore had given him, telling him the details about the vault he would have. It contained a sum of money that had to get him through all seven years of school so it would be prudent to spend it wisely.

Remus had never had money before, and he was determined not to waste a bit of it. He was, however, waiting for the professor that would accompany him to Diagon Alley. He had dressed in his nicest--and only--robe, freshly washed. His shift had been washed too. It had taken him his final water rations for the week, but at least they were clean.

"He's here, werewolf." Smyth ripped the door open and grabbed Remus' collar. "This is the werewolf."

The teacher was sour looking with sallow skin, a large flat nose, and was balding. He grabbed Remus' collar away from the director of the orphanage and growled. Remus flinched back, his legs nearly giving out, and tried his best to follow him down the hall. After years of being locked in his small room as well as malnutrition and dehydration, Remus had very little muscle mass and was dreadfully weak.

"Hurry up you stupid moron," The man growled. "I am Professor Terrin. You will address me as sir. Nothing more, nothing less. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir," Remus murmured. Why had he even entertained the thought that school would be different than the orphanage? His secret would probably get out and he'd be expelled in less than a year. But at least he would be there for a little while.

"Good." Terrin growled, dragging him to the front walk and called the Night Bus. Remus was struggling to stay afoot and was glad the bus had places to sit. At least, they did until the man saw his dogtags.

"You're lucky we're letting you ride this bus," The driver growled. "You can stand in the back. Don't touch a the beds."

Remus' shoulder's slumped and he nodded in a dejected fashion, walking slowly past the rows of beds to the back of the bus to sit on the hard floor. The driver flicked his wand and a collar with a chain attached to the wall locked itself about his neck. He tucked himself into a ball and tried to keep his tears at bay, sniffing slightly.

Why was it always him?  
**oOooOo**

A while later, Remus was unsure of exactly how long, and they arrived at the small pub called the Leaky Cauldron. Remus kept his head down as he was drug inside by Terrin, hoping to avoid notice. "Be back here in four hours with everything. You won't have another chance. I'll be waiting in here, understand?" Terrin snapped, and Remus nodded in fright, backing away from the man.

The bartender looked up, eyeing Remus' tags for a moment, then offered the small werewolf a tiny smile. "How about I get you a drink and get your charge to Diagon Alley, how's that, Terrin?"

"Good." Terrin nodded and Tom served him a drink and took Remus back to the gate to Diagon Alley.

Remus cringed as they walked out of the crowded pub, wondering what Tom was going to do. "No need to fear me, child," Tom chuckled. "I get all types in here. I'm not going to harm you. Just do as Terrin says and you'll be all right."

"Thank you, sir," Remus bowed and walked through the archway into the wizarding world. He first headed to Gringotts, the wizarding bank, keeping his head down. No one spared the small figure a second glance, but they did all check their pockets as the smelly child passed by.

He was only three and a half feet tall and all skin and bone. The trip had taxed him already and he had not yet made it to the bank. Remus shook his head. He would never be a good wizard, he couldn't even walk alone. Needed someone to drag him along by the collar.

It took him thirty minutes to get to the bank, and when he did, he nearly cried. The doors leading inside were silver. If he didn't touch it, he should be fine, but silver made him scared. He limped through and made his way to the counter, handing them the letter that Dumbledore had given him. All he could think was that he had no idea what he'd do it the goblins turned him out. They could, of course, as he was a werewolf.

"Every thing seems to be in order," The goblin told him. Then handed him a bag of money. Remus looked through it and noticed that there were no sickles, only gallons and knuts. "If you need more, you shall have to write the headmaster," The goblin added, then shooed Remus on his way. Remus bowed, then hurried from the bank, worried about what the goblin might do if they discovered he was a werewolf.

First it was off to the wand shop. Ollivander was expecting him, muttering about his parents (he was terribly confused), and then the little man was searching for the "perfect" wand. He didn't find it for nearly an hour, and Remus growing concerned that he wouldn't get done in time, but then something happened. A curious thing, Mr. Ollivander called it. He picked up a wand, ten inches, elder wood, with a phonix feather. Fitting, Remus thought, that a tree standing for both banishment and magical ability should be his. One foot in the wizarding world, but never fully able to belong to it.

After that, he felt well enough to wander over to the robe shop and get several second hand robes. So far, no one had looked twice at his tags, though it was a close thing in the robe shop. Still, few people wore the size he did and it had been hard to find robes--never mind a cloak--but he now had several new pairs, many graying and with a few patches as well as ragged hems, but better than the ones he now wore, and a cloak.

Then he hurried to get his potions ingredients, scales, phials, and cauldron. He was kicked out of one potions store and it was nearly half an hour until he found another one, and he realized his time was almost two thirds of the was over. A rushed trip to the book store, and one to find some dragon hide gloves, and Remus counted his money. A brief smile lite his face as he realized that he had saved enough by buying second hand to get a new trunk, blanket, pillow, and watch.

This was exciting for a boy that had never had anything new in his life after the incident. Even after that he had a little extra, and wandered into a small toy shop he found near the pub. He had about fifteen minutes before he had to be back, and he wanted a way to entertain himself after he finished his books.

What he found instead was a stuffed wolf, the perfect size for hugging. It was gray with amber colored eyes. It was also charmed to stay clean--always important--and to act a little like a dog. Walk around, fetch things, and cuddle on command. Remus was in love. He had never had anything like that in his life, at least not that he could remember, but when he looked at the price tag, his face fell. It was just a little too much. Slowly he put it back and turned to go, not really wanting anything else, when he ran into a large man.

Twice Remus' height and four times wider at least, he was a rather frightening vision for the small eleven year old despite his wide smile. "What's the matter, kid?"

Remus looked down, refusing to speak, and shook his head, silently offering him a glimpse at his dog tags. "Ah, a werewolf, hey? Good choice for you, then, kid."

Remus blinked up. Everyone else that had found out had kicked him out. Unless he was paying to leave. Then they just told him not to come back. "Why aren't you going to buy it?" The man didn't seem to get the hint. He looked Remus over for real, taking in his ratty, dirty clothes, then nodded. "Can't afford it, huh?"

"I almost can," Remus said in a near whisper. "It's ten knuts and I have seven."

"Sold," The man chuckled. "Come on, let's get that in a bag, okay?" He led Remus to the counter and took the seven knuts, then handed Remus the stuffed toy.

"Thank you," Remus murmured, then left, holding his bags tightly. He didn't see the man offer him a sad smile and add three knuts to the drawer from his own pocket. He had just enough time to get back to the pub before his time was up, and very nearly missed Terrin, who was angry he had made it and was four times rougher on the journey home which took a major toll on his already tired body.

When he reached the orphanage, he collapsed back into his blanket, not caring about the locked door or lack of water or food or anything, and held his new--and only--toy close, then fell fast asleep.  
**oOooOo**


	2. As I Feel the Inferno

Rising of the Moon

Part Two

Year One

Element Two

As I Feel the Inferno

**Author's Notes:**

This will eventually contain slash. They're all eleven yet, so we're all safe for some time. I'll warn you when that all changes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I barely own what in my brain. The voices keep running off with it!

The second chapter. I wanted a fair reaction, and I didn't think one chapter would be good enough to judge it. I do hope everyone enjoys this, it's a slightly darker look at Remus' life, but somehow it seemed fitting to the werewolf's character. As I said before, this was _supposed_ to be a short character piece. Well, it didn't stay that way. So, please enjoy the second chapter to go with the first!

**oOooOo**

Remus had a transformation just a week before the start of school, and was pleased to find that all of his new things fit right into his trunk. The thought that his life, his entire being, fit into the trunk was a little sad, but it really didn't matter. He was just glad he wasn't destroying anything, especially his wolf. He adored the toy, had named it Conall, and spent a pretty good amount of time talking to it. It was, in essence, his only friend.

Now he was headed to the Hogwarts Express. Smyth had laughed and kicked him out at the station without telling him how to find the Hogwarts Express and now Remus was growing afraid he'd miss the train. He had a cart with his trunk on it, and no way to get to the platform. He knew better than to ask a muggle, since he knew they wouldn't know, but he was lost beyond that.

Then he ran into someone. A very familier someone. The matriarch or the Black family. "Filth! Mudblood!" She screeched.

Remus bowed deeply, shivering as he did so. "I'm really, really sorry, Madame Black," He managed. "I didn't mean to. I was just lost, looking for the Hogwarts Express and I wasn't paying attention. I'm really sorry."

Her face softened briefly and she gestured to the wall between platforms nine and ten. "Just pass though there, child. It's right there. Just walk through between platforms nine and ten."

"Thank you very much, Madame Black," Remus replied, still in his bow. He stayed there a few seconds more before rising and hurrying through to the platform. He was going to be late. And then he stopped, looking from the train to his trunk and back again. There was no way he could lift his trunk onto the train, and he was already tired.

There wasn't much else for it, he grabbed the handle and heaved, somehow getting it off the trolly, then up the first step, then the second, and then the third. Then he had to stop and take a break, breathing heavily. He sat heavily down on his trunk for a moment, then continued down the train, stopped every so often to catch his breath. He made it to the last compartment on the train, found it empty, and drug his trunk inside.

By then, his legs felt like jelly, and his heart was pounding. He had not done so much work in years, and he was amazed he had managed it. With a sigh, he pulled out Conall and buried his face in the stuffed wolf's fur. "This is it, Conall. The first day of hiding. I hope I can do this. I'm so scared."

At least he was clean. More or less. He had saved most of his water for a week and managed to take a sponge bath the night before and wash his hair using some soap he had stolen last time he had been allowed in the bathroom. His hair was golden brown and shiny instead of dull and stringy.

"Hey, is there anyone in here but you?" A boy poked his head in, frowning slightly. "Every where else is full, at least for the most part."

"No, just me," Remus said softly, wondering if this boy was really going to sit with him. He hugged Conall tighter, wondering what the boy was going to do to him.

The boy smiled brightly and run his hand through his already mussed black hair and looked at Remus with sparkling brown eyes. "I'm James Potter."

Remus felt the world fall out from under his feet. He was an abandoned nobody, orginally from the McNair house, dressed in ratty clothing and with nothing to really call his own. Even Conall wasn't really his, but something he'd bought with someone else's money, whomever was sponsering him. Potter was one of the oldest houses in the Wizarding world. Hastily Remus got up and bowed low, not meeting the boy's eyes.

"Please don't," James told him, pushing him back into his seat. "I hate it when people do that."

"But you're a Potter," Remus protested. "I'm an orphan with no real name! I'm not. . .I don't. . . I'm nothing. I shouldn't be breathing your air or talking to you or anything!"

Then he realized what he'd just done. He had just spoken back to a member of the Potter house. He cringed back, waiting for a slap, or a hit, or a kick, clutching Conall to his chest. "I'm sorry."

James blinked. "What's your name, kid? And are you sure you're a first year? You're kind of small."

"I'm Remus Lupin. And I'm eleven even if I am small." Remus frowned, clutching Conall closer. James raised an eyebrow at the long hair, but shrugged all the same.

"What's with the wolf then?"

"His name is Conall," Remus muttered, clinging to the wolf.

James shrugged. "Whatever, kid."

Remus sighed in relief when James didn't demand to see the wolf, or ask anything else about it, and sank back into his seat. he really wished he could fall asleep, but there was no such luck with someone else in the compartment.

"People are going to think you don't like me, Bella," A boy taunted from outside. "I mean, what with the way you treat me and all."

"I don't like you," A girl's voice snapped. The door popped open and two boys tumbled inside, giggling the whole time. Both had black hair, though the first was a little taller than James and had crystal blue eyes. The second was just a little shorter than James with fathomless black eyes.

"Hello. Mind if we join you? I've already pissed off Bella once and I think I'd rather not do it again. She might pull off my ears," The first boy grinned, causing the second to laugh. "I'm Sirius Black, and the silent one next to me is my cousin, Serverus Snape."

Remus leapt up again, shaking with fatigue, and bowed deeply to both boys. "Can I do anything for you?"

Sirius' and Serverus' eyes swept over the boy's tatty clothes and long hair, then Sirius' eyes fell to the stuffed wolf Remus was still clutching in his arms. "Aren't you a little old for stuffed animals?" Sirius asked, grabbing the wolf and inspecting it thoroughly.

"Give it back!" Remus jumped for it, but Sirius held it out of his reach. Remus sniffed. This boy was naught but a bully! The wolf was his, as much his as anything else he had anyway, and it was his only friend. "Please," He added belatedly. He jumped for it several more times, still unable to reach, while the others looked on, able only to blink in shock. Remus, legs shaking and ready to give out, tried one last time. He collapsed to the ground as he landed, his legs unable to take anymore strain, and began to cry.

Sirius blinked. He hadn't meant to hurt the boy's feelings. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't know it meant so much to you," Sirius knelt next to the boy, handing the wolf back. "Here."

Remus grabbed it, holding it close, and stiffened as though waiting for pain. "Are you all right?" Serverus finally spoke.

"Y-yes," Remus murmured, wiping away his tears. "I'm just not used to doing all that jumping. I'm okay, really."

"I didn't mean to upset you," Sirius told him again. "I really am sorry. Can you stand?"

Remus shook his head, "I'll be okay here, though. You shouldn't touch me."

Sirius halted in the act of lifting him. "Why is that?"

"I'm a nobody," Remus protested. "You shouldn't dirty your hands on filth like me!"

"Remus Lupin," James hissed, "You are not filth. I've only known you for five minutes and I can still tell that you are one of the nicest people I've ever met."

Remus flinched at his tone, hiding his face. "I'm sorry."

"What is that matter with you? I demand to know!" James frowned and Remus sighed. It was going to happen sooner or later, but Dumbledore had given him permission to hide it.

"The headmaster of the orphanage told me that. He said that I shouldn't be touched or helped by anyone of a higher social standing, pretty much everyone, really. I'm just a nobody, after all."

Sirius rolled his eyes and lifted Remus onto the seat. "So, what happened? Why did you collapse?"

"I was locked in my room most of the time, so I wasn't able to walk a lot. I'm not used to all of this. I'm surprised I didn't collapse sooner." Remus shrugged. He had stopped flinching when it became clear that none of them were going to hurt him for speaking. It was a novel idea, to speak without being hurt, and he was happy for the change. He had never had much of a chance to speak, and being allowed was nice. Even if they were three of the oldest wizarding familiers in the wizarding world.

The door to the compartment slid opern, and a girl rushed inside. She was short--though still taller than Remus--with long red hair and bright green eyes. "There's someone chasing me!" She gasped, slamming the door shut. "Some teen with brown hair, he keeps calling me a. . . mudblood, but I don't even know what that is!"

"You're muggle born?" Sirius blinked. "Okay. So, you have some older kid chasing you and calling you names. So you ran in here because. . . ?"

"There was no where else to go?" The girl scowled. "They chased me all the way down here, and it seems they've finally stopped, but I'd rather not leave so can I sit with you? I'm Lily Evans, by the way."

Remus bowed in his seat as best he could, deciding that getting up wasn't wise, and Lily giggled a little at him, then smiled. The others introduced themselves, and Lily plopped down next to Remus who blinked. The number of people that had sat next to him and been nice since he'd been bitten was very short. He could count them all on one hand and have four fingers left.

"Okay, who follows quidditch?" Sirius announced, sitting upside down on the bench with his legs against the wall and his head haging off the front. "I'm hoping England wins this year. Did you see what happened with the--"

Remus tuned him out, pulling a book out of his trunk, cuddling up with Conall, and reading about the 101 uses of plants. He had no doubts that they would leave him once they arrived at school, going off to be with people more like them and ignoring him completely like everyone else did. He also had little doubt that Dumbledore would, in the Great Hall at the beginning of the year, announce he was a werewolf.

When everyone thought everything had calmed down nearly an hour later, the door slammed open one last time. A blond boy, right about James' height, walked in, scowling. "I have had it," He announced. "Those idiots in the corridor keep calling me a girl! Do I look like a girl to you?"

His blond hair was cut in the normal wizarding style for an arsitocratic boy of eleven, falling just past his shoulders and tied in a small tail. Serverus, Sirius, and James all wore their hair in such a manner. It was white blond and baby fine and very pretty. "Not unless I do," Srius shrugged. Crystal blue eyes met the boy's icy grey ones, and the new boy laughed.

"Nice to see you again, cousin."

"Lucius Malfoy," Sirius nodded, smirking. "I see the dye washed out."

"I see the spell wore off."

"Um, what are you two yattering about?" Serverus demanded. "And why wasn't I informed?"

"Last time I went to his house, I dyed his hair pink," Sirius smirked. "So he spelled my skin blue. It was a nice prank, my partner in crime."

Serverus pouted, obviously upset that he had missed it, and Remus shuddered. He had been the target for his own fair share of pranks, but the only time he had retaliated he had been unable to move for nearly three weeks. The kids all thought it had been great fun and continued to attack him, and the thought of them pranking him was frightening. Especially since he didn't dare retaliate.

"You lot can do whatever you like, but if you go after me, there'll be hell to pay," James announced. "But if we all work together, we could do something amazing!"

"That'd be awesome!" Sirius rubbed his hands together. "Just imagine what we could do! The whole school with pink hair! Charm the food, or the teachers, or something. I think I want a record number of detentions ever! No one should ever be able to break it!"

"Great! You guys want to help?" James turned to look at Lily and Remus, smirking.

"Yeah!" Lily grinned. "I 'm not too sure about this magic stuff, but I've got some great muggle pranks!"

"What about you, kid?" Sirius faced Remus, who flinched, murmuring a quick apology.

"I don't want to get beaten," Remus murmured. "I'll pass."

"They wouldn't beat you," James frowned.

"My headmaster did," Remus shivered. "I don't want that to happen again!"

"No one would beat you," James scoffed. "I mean, wouldn't your parents complain?"

"I don't have any parents." Remus corrected. "I'm an orphan. No one wanted me. I'm just lucky Headmaster Dumbledore is so nice or I wouldn't even be allowed to come here! I don't want to get expelled or beaten--and everyone always does--and I won't help even if you beat me up because you can't expell me!"

Remus looked up at them, he was too short to do anything else, and clutched his stuffed wolf to his chest. He was scared, and he was sure they could tell, but he wasn't going to back down. He was used to beatings, and not being fed, and a lot of other things, but he wasn't going to let them force him into anything.

"We aren't going to hurt you, Remmy," Sirius plopped down between him and Lily, wrapping an arm aorund him. "Don't be silly! And we aren't going to force you to do anything you don't want to. And we're still going to be your friend, right you guys? I mean, even if he is a goody two shoes, as long as you don't tell on us."

"O-okay," Remus shivered, looking over his only toy and nodding. Then he glanced at his watch. "We need to change."

"Okay," The others agreed, pulling their robes on and tucking all their things away. Remus didn't want to put Conall in his trunk, but he couldn't carry it into the Great Hall either.

Remus followed Hagrid down the dirt path, staring at the small boats. He couldn't swim and hoped desprately that he didn't fall in. "Man, there's too many of us," Sirius pouted. "Six of us, four to a boat. Well, let's go in groups of threes and then we'll only have one stranger in our boat, okay?"

They nodded, and Sirius grabbed the hand of a pale faced Remus. "Are you okay?"

"I-I can't s-swim," Remus gulped, shying away from the water and bumping into Sirius. He flinched, but relaxed, and stayed as far from the water as he could.

"I'm a good swimmer, so I'll ride with you then. That way, if you fall in, I'll save you," Sirius grinned and led Remus down the small path. The two climbed in a boat followed by Serverus, and a pointy faced boy none of them knew.

The boy started talking to them as soon as they stepped into the boat, and didn't shut up until they reached the other side, except for the first moments they saw the castle in. Remus felt his breath catch as he stared up at the beautiful stone building that he would spend at least part of his life in. Not the seven years everyone else thought, but at least a week, if nothing more.

"Remus?"

"It's amazing," Remus breathed. "I've never seen anything so beautiful in my life. I get to stay here. It's so. . . wow."

Sirius felt his blood boil at the reverent tone in Remus' voice. Not because he was reverent, but because it was obvious no one had ever done anything nice for him so that school seemed like a miracle. Remus, though he hadn't known the boy for long, was sweet and kind and altogether wonderful and the fact that he spoke about things like beatings as though they were nothing made Sirius angry.

They were met by a stern looking witch in her thirties who told them to get freshened up and wait for the sorting before leaving again. "I wonder what we have to do," Sirius muttered. "Bella told me we'd have to fight a werewolf."

Remus stared up at him with wide amber eyes. Was that why Dumbledore had brought him here? So people would have to fight him to see where they had to be sorted? Fear began to worm it's way though his heart and he began to wish he hadn't left Conall in his trunk. The stuffed animal would have made him feel better. Something familier in this unfamiler world.

"Don't look so worried, silly," Sirius chuckled. "Bella's an idiot and probably told me that to scare me. I didn't bother to tell her I think werewolves are cool."

"Maybe you do," Serverus snapped. "But those monster killed my mother. They should all be wiped out!"

"They aren't bad--" Remus cringed under Serverus's glare, but continued on. "I mean, they only try to hurt people on the full moon, usually. If there was a safe place for them to go when the moon was full--"

"The ministry has places," Serverus replied icily. "Why don't they go there?"

"Because the ministry is mean to them!" Remus cried. "They lock them in tiny little cells and don't help them afterward. If there's no people around, they bite themsevles and hurt themselves and the ministry just throws them out on the street afterward! If they're outside, at least they hunt instead of hurting themselves and, and--" He broke off, and began to study his shoes.

"How do you know?" Serverus tilted his head curiously.

"There's one at the orphanage," Remus replied. "He's not allowed to do anything and no one really knows what they're going to do when he hits school age, and they hurt him more than the others."

"Wow. They must treat him pretty bad." Sirius blinked. "That's not right, even if he is a werewolf. I mean, they're people most of the time, right?"

Serverus crossed his arms. "They're still monsters."

Remus furiously blinked back tears and refused to look up. The comment really hurt, though he was determined not to show it. Fortuatly, the teacher showed back up and told them all to fall into two lines of even length and lead them into the Great Hall for the sorting after she'd explained the four houses.

There was a hat on a stool. Remus stared. A hat. That was it. Just a hat.

Then a rip near the brim opened wide and it began to sing.

"Fours houses in Hogwarts,

To chose where I place you in,

Come sit upon the stool,

And place me on your head.

For those of you brave of heart,

with daring nerve and chilvery,

you set Gryffindor apart.

The ones that value learning,

and keen and steady minds,

to Ravenclaw I place you,

With the same ones of your kind.

The yellow house is Hufflepuff,

Where go the loyal and true,

Quiet and good workers,

Could this be the house for you?

Are you the one that's cunning,

using any ends,

To Slytherin I send you,

you'll meet your greatest friends.

Come try me on, don't be afraid,

I've never once been wrong,

I'll tell you where you ought to go,

And where you should belong!"

Remus continued to stare even after the song was open, then gulped. What if the hat screamed out that he was a werewolf to everyone and said that he should be sent home? What if it made everyone turn against him and he was kicked out before he'd even begun? What if--

"Black, Sirius!"

"Wish me luck!" Sirius patted his shoulder, and rushed up to the stool.

"GYRFFINDOR!"

Remus just daydreamed between the sortings that weren't his friends, and gulped.

"Evans, Lily!"

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Lupin, Remus!"

His knees began to knock, and he wasn't sure he'd make it down the long aisle way. He knew he was the color of a sheet, and several people he passed were whispering about his appearence and wondering if he was really a girl. He sat down and the hat was dropped over his head, and then darkness over took his vision as the hat blocked his view of the hall.

"You are an interesting one aren't you," The hat murmured. "A difficult one to sort, you are. A we--"

"Stop!" Remus whimpered. "I don't want them to know! Don't say it!"

"Don't worry. They can't hear me talking like this. They will hear only about your house, all right little wolf? Now, you're a werewolf, brave fellow, aren't you. Hm. . . Well, I think I know the perfect house for you, little wolf. You may stay with at least one of your friends in GRYFFINDOR!"

Remus had the hat off and was at his table before anyone could really react properly. A little half hearted clapping followed, but Remus didn't care. Just sat by Sirius and tried to remain unnoticed.

"Malfoy, Lucius!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

Potter, James!"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Snape, Serverus!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Aw, no one is with Lily," James pouted, then waved at the red head. "I hope she's not too lonely."

Lily waved back and smiled, then turned to talk to a pretty girl next to her with pale hair and bright blue eyes. Sirius made a face. "That's my cousin, Narcissa. She's nice, though. I'm not surprised Lily likes her."

"She should make some girl friends, I mean, all of us are boys," James pointed out. "But she's still our friend too."

"Right." Sirius agreed. Then Remus blinked as food appeared on the table. There was so much!

"What are we allowed?" Remus murmured. He was so used to planning food by days or weeks that it was hard to grasp the concept that it was probably all for one meal.

"Whatever you want."

"And this is for the next few days, right?" Remus blinked.

"Of course not," James chuckled. "This is the feast! Eat whatever you want! We'll get breakfast and stuff in here too."

Remus nodded, and chewed on his lip. It was so hard to know what was what here. And he still had to talk to Dumbledore about his next transformation. Still, he got some food and dug in, trying to eat neatly as his new friends did. He ate more than he probably should have, and Sirius was staring at him.

Remus shivered. He probably ate too much! Now he was going to get punished. "That's it?" Sirius asked. "That's all you're going to eat?"

Remus stared at him. "That's usually what I get for two meals!"

Sirius blinked, then growled, making Remus wince. But he didn't say anything, just nodded and finished his own meal. Of course, all of that did explain why Remus was so little. He never ate anything. But James shot Sirius a look, who replied in kind, and Remus, will very little people interaction, had no idea what was going on.

Soon, dinner was finished and the Prefect called to them so they could head to the common room.  
**oOooOo**


	3. I Stare In the Dark

Rising of the Moon

Part Three

Year One

Element Three

I Stare in the Dark

**Author's Notes:**

This will be slash eventually, but since they're all eleven, your still safe. I'll let everyone know when that changes.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Sorry to disappoint, folks. Maybe someday I'll have book catagory on the site and I'll be able to claim it, but not yet. sigh

Special thanks to my reviewers! It's always heartening, and in a catagory the size of Harry Potter, keeping the story fresh is so hard, and people have trouble finding it unless they're digging. So to those that found and read my story, thanks! To those that reviewed and offered their support, it means a lot that you enjoy this and sent me notes to tell me! Thank you so much!

I hope you all enjoy this next installment and please review, my adoring fans! dodges rotten fruit Curses! Hee hee.

**oOooOo**

Remus stared around at the moving pictures. It wasn't that he'd never seen moving pictures, he'd just never seen so many of them in one place. That and he'd never been allowed to really get very close to any. All the kids were afraid he'd destroy them or something. Like he was that dangerous.

The walk to the tower was long and covered a lot of stairs, and Remus was hoping they would arrive soon, or his legs would give out. In fact, they might give out before then. He wobbled a bit as though to foreshadow his thoughts and mentally cursed his lack of strength. He was a werewolf and supposed to have super strength and super endurance. He really did have the super senses bit, but that was about all he had. As it was, his legs were like noodles, and he wanted to fall down.

Sirius must have seen the wobble because he nudged James and the two caught Remus before he could fall down the stairs. "You all right?"

"I'm just tired is all," Remus managed sleepily. "And it's a long walk."

The two of the exchanged glances. Remus had told them of the room he'd been confined to, though they hadn't thought it had been all the time. Still, if this was a long walk for him, he probably hadn't been allowed to wander much. The two helped him up the stairs and Remus sighed in relief. "I thought I'd fall."

"You nearly did, Remmy," Sirius pointed out. "I mean, you were wobbling all over the place. Weren't you allowed to do anything?"

"No," Remus murmured quietly.

Sirius and James exchaged looks, pretending to be listening to the Prefect in charge. Remus caught the password and about half of the lecture, but swayed again from exhaustion. He woke up, however, when the prefect announced, "And those stairs are to the boys' dormitories."

Remus stiffened. It hadn't occured to him he'd have to share a room. How was he going to explain his bite scar and his dogtags? He'd never had to share a room before, nor had he ever had friends he felt the need to keep his secret from. And if Sirus and James ever found out, they'd kill him. He had no doubt to that, no one would ever go after two of the oldest wizarding families in the world.

Fear clenched his heart, and he began to shiver, eyes growing wide. How was he going to keep his secret? They already knew he couldn't walk, they probably thought he was weak anyway, but what could he do to keep them from finding out he was a monster? That they had been sleeping near a monster? Living near one? Called one their friend?

Tears filled his wolf gold eyes at the thought of being rejected by the only friends he'd ever had besides Conall, and once he left the school, Conall would probably be taken from him too. His shaking increased as tears coursed down his cheeks. He didn't want to loose his friends or Conall.

"Remus?" Concerned crystal blue eyes turned towards him. "You're shaking, and crying. Is everything okay?"

Remus managed to nod, even though it was an obvious lie, but Sirius didn't press the issue. It really wasn't his business, and if Remus didn't want to share, he wasn't going to make him. Instead, he just helped the other boy up the stairs and to the bed by the window, shoving his trunk into place, then moved his own to the one on the left side while James picked the one on the right. The last member of their dorm, a pointy faced boy with beady eyes and thin mouse brown hair named Rasputian took the last bed.

Yawning, the boys managed to change and fell into bed, hoping the night would be plesant.  
**oOooOo**

When Remus woke up, it was still fairly early, and he gave a yawn before hopping out of bed and blinking. "I get a bed?" He had been so tired that it hadn't registered the night before.

"Of course you do, Remmy," Sirius chuckled. "Haven't you had a bed before?"

Wolf gold eyes blinked up at him. "No. I had my blanket and a pillow and the floor. Why?"

Sirius caught his breath. "You're kidding. They didn't even give you a bed? How horrible! Well, you're not going back to that place and that is that."

"You don't have to do that. I'm just a stupid little wizard that was disowned from his family." Remus studied his hands intently. "It's okay, though. I know you just let me tag along because you felt bad. You don't have to do that. . ."

"But we want you to be our friend," James protested. "And you're not a nobody. You're Remus Lupin, friend of James Potter, Sirius Black, Lucius Malfoy, Serverus Snape, and Lily Evans. That's not a nobody. That's a somebody!"

Remus looked at the ground, shaking his head. They didn't know his secret so it was only expected that they didn't understand. He was a monster, everyone thought so. If they only knew. . . but Remus was selfish and he wanted friends, just this once, even if once they found out they would hate him and hurt him. He wasn't going to tell them, just for once Remus was going to be selfish and think only of himself. All he wanted was a few friends, just for a little while, jsut to know what it was like. So, just for now, he'd have his friends and pretend they knew and liked him anyway. Because once they did know, they would hate him.

**oOooOo**

They raced down to the Great Hall going as fast as Remus could. He was quickly recovering much of the strength he had lost over the past years of being locked in the room. His werewolf abilities were good for something, at least. Soon he'd be up to par with the normal eleven year old, though it would probably take around a month or so. That, though he didn't know it, was amazing.

"Look, our time tables!" Sirius jumped at the prefect that held them and grabbed their's, looking over them with an excited air. "This is amazing! Let's see. . ."

"We have double potions with the Slytherins first," James jumped in, bouncing on the balls of his feet in his excitement. "Let's go tell Sev and Luc that we'll be in their class! It's so exciting! We can't wait!"

They trio took off across the Great Hall towards the Slytherin table, grinning like mad. Well, Sirius and James were, and Sirius was dragging an unsure Remus behind them. About halfway to the Slytherin table, a sitxth year blocked their path. "What are you doing, Gryffindor?"

"We wanted to tell Luc and Sev that we have potions with them!" James waved the bit of paper under the boy's nose. "See? Isn't this exciting?"

The sixth year boy blinked, then glared. "You're a Gryffindor, they're Slytherins. You aren't supposed to be friends."

James tilted his head, then shrugged. "Never stopped us before! Come on, Siri! They're going to leave and we won't be able to tell them!" He dodged past the boy and rushed towards Lucius and Serverus.

Sirius made a face at the boy. "Houses are for family," Sirius told him with a grin. "The other houses are for _friends_. Sev, Luc, lookie! Lookie! Isn't is great?"

Remus just offered a slight smile at the boy and hurried after Sirius, just as excited as he was, leaving the sixth year standing alone in the midst of the hall looking floored.

"This is so great! We have potions with you, and Lily, Luc, and I share Astronomy and Herbology," Serverus replied.

"We have Defense with you, too," Lucius said, grinning.

"Lily has Histroy and Charms with us. But we have Astonomy and Herbology with the_ Hufflepuffs_." Sirius sounded scandalized. Lucius and Serverus shrugged then looked for Lily. The small red-head waved and rushed over to see what they shared. They reiterated the schedules and she grinned too.

"Wish me luck, then. I'll see you in Charms later today," She waved slightly, disappearing down a side corridor. "You may want to leave now so you aren't late," She called back to them. The boys checked their watched and started.

"We're going to be late," Sirius wailed, and they took off down the hallway, cramming toast in their mouths as they went.

**oOooOo**

The potions teacher was a toad like woman. Her hair was stiffly curled around her square jowls and her age was indterminable. From the lack of lines marring her mouth and eyes she looked like she was only in her early twenties, but from the way she dressed and the wrinkles made from her scowl, she could have been forty of fifty.

She glared at Remus as he entered, all the teachers having been told that he was a werewolf so they knew not to use particular spells or potions ingrediants around him. They had, of course, been sworn to a wizards oath that they would not tell the students unless Remus did, but wouldn't stop them from making slurs on his condition as long as the students didn't understand the reference.

"Hello Professor Umbridge," Remus bowed just a little less deeply than when he met James and the others.

Her lip curled into a sneer. "Stay away from me half-blood."

Remus paled and cringed, tears filling his golden eyes at the remark. Sirius growled and stood protectivly in front of Remus. "That's not nice and you shouldn't talk to him like that!" Sirius snarled. "It's not fair and it's not right. He can't help it if he's not a pure-blooded wizard and you should remember that!"

"Oh, I do, I do," Umbridge sneered, glaring at the pale faced Remus. "And he will get no special treatment in my class!"

Terror passed over Remus' face and he hid behind Sirius in fear, trying to hold back his tears. He had thought the orphanage was bad, but there, at least, they told him to his face they wanted to kill him.

"You leave him alone," Sirius ordered, putting a protective arm around Remus and leading him to a table in the back. The other three boys nodded in agreement and huffed, following Sirius.

"You ignore her, Remmy," Serverus told him, sticking his tongue out at the teacher's back. "She's a meany head."

"She's a bitch is what she is," James grumbled, making them giggle.

"That's a bad word," Remus protested. The only time he'd ever used that word the headmaster had made him eat a bar of soap and then burned him with silver. "You'll get in trouble."

"Only if someone tells," James winked. "Don't worry so much, Remmy. We'll protect you."

A smile crossed Remus' face and he nodded. For now, just for now, he could trust them. Someday they'd hate him, but he planned to enjoy every moment he had with his friends until then!

**oOooOo**

After their first day of classes, the group met in the library, talking excitedly. "Well I don't care what you say, Sirius Black, I think Narcissa's nice!" Lily stomped her foot and glared.

Sirius pouted, and crossed his arms. "I don't care. She's still my bratty cousin and I don't want her in our pranking group. Besides, she sucks at pranks."

"Well that doesn't mean _I_ can't talk to her," Lily scowled and Sirius sighed.

"Whatever. As long as you don't make me do it."

"I won't!"

"Fine!"

"Fine!"

"Are you. . . angry?" Remus asked hesitently, touching Sirius' arm. "You aren't going to hit her, right? Because that would be mean."

He was standing between Lily and Sirius, looking quite frightened but determined to protect her. Or him. He couldn't decide who would win a fight between them. Sirius was bigger, but Lily was a hellcat. Both of them blinked at him and Lily laughed. Remus flinched, then met her eyes. He was a head smaller than her at least and it was a bit of a stretch.

"We won't hit each other. We're just arguing. It's fun!" Lily smiled but Remus didn't look so sure. He'd argued with someone once and been beaten for it. And the headmaster had held him really close to the door handle and nearly burned him again.

"If you say so," Remus looked doubtful. The others exchanged looks. What kind of life had Remus had if he was always so worried about getting in trouble? The punishments must have been pretty harsh.

"What's the orphanage like?" Sirius leaned back in his chair looking at Remus through a curtain of hair.

"It's not so bad," Remus told them. "Really!" He added at their doubtful looks. "I mean, I get food and I have a room and a place to sleep and. . . and. . . stuff. It's pretty good there."

Lucius opened his mouth to say something, but James shook his head and gave him a look that told him to drop it. "We need a name," James announced in a despreate attempt to change the subject. Not the most graceful attempt ever made, but it did work.

"Like what?" Lily demanded. "We're pranksters. What about the Pranksters?"

"That's stupid," Sirius shook his head. "I mean, how unoriginal!"

"We're going to be in so much trouble," Remus whimpered. "Especially if we just going to be maruading around at night--"

"That's it!"

The group offered James a strange look. "What's it?"

"Our name! We can be the Maruaders!"

"Yeah!" The others agreed, while Remus worried his lip. They were going to get beaten and expelled and he'd be shot with the silver bullet that the headmaster of the orphanage always said had his name on it and they would be hurt and there wasn't anything he could do about it!

The others began to talk excitedly, and Remus curled up and began to cry. They were going to be in so much trouble and bad things would happen. He didn't care how nice the headmaster seemed, punishment was punishment and they were going to be in mass amount of pain and he couldn't pursuade them not to do things to get into trouble and his only friends ever were going to be hurt and he couldn't stop it.

"Remmy?" Lily put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you okay? Guys, Remmy's crying!"

"Remmy, why on earth are you crying?" Serverus plopped down next to him and grinned. "I mean, we just came up with a name for our pranking group!"

"You're going to get into trouble!" Remus cried. "You're going to do things that aren't allowed and get punished."

"Sure, but dentention isn't so bad, Remus. Surely it's not worth crying for," James patted Remus' hair. "I mean, all we do is sit in a room and do homework or clean something or whatever. What did you think?"

"M-my headmaster would always hit me or make me eat soap or burn me for doing bad things. I--I thought everyone did. . ." Remus managed to stop crying and dry his tears. "You mean. . . you won't be hurt?"

"Of course not!" Lily smiled. "They did bad things to you, Remmy. But they won't anymore."

"I deserve it," Remus murmured. "I must if they kept doing it."

"No one deserves that," Serverus told him, crossing his arms. "Ever."

"Now that we've got that all sorted out," James grinned easily at Remus. "Let's get down to business. We need people to specialize in stuff so we can get ahead and stay there. And we need people to handle stuff like excuses or orders. So kind of like a secritary mixed with a treasurer. Okay? So, how should we mix this up?"

"Who made James leader?" Serverus demanded. "Shouldn't we vote?"

"I think James will make a good leader." Remus announced. "Now, we need to divide up the jobs. I think Serverus should do Potions. He's the best at them and he likes them--at least, he looked pretty happy during potions.."

A gleam entered Serverus's eye that made the group cringe. Lucius shrugged and wrote it down anyway.

"Lily does Charms." James announced. "She was best at that."

"James claims Transfigurations." Lucius didn't wait for agreement, just wrote it down as he said it.

"Herbology goes to Lucius." Sirius grinned. "He's got the biggest green thumb ever."

"Sirius and Remus don't have anything yet." Lily pointed out, frowning. "We have to find them something to do. And we need that book keeper person."

"We need Siri and Remmy to explore the school. They're the sneakiest--I can't even hear Remus move half the time. And they can do a mish-mash of stuff for if we need homework help. They're best all-around. Besides, Astronomy and Defense Against the Dark Arts isn't needed for pranking. Yet." James told the group. "And Lucius can keep the job. He's good at it."

Sirius nodded. "He's got a good imagination, and Remmy can help him if he needs it. I bet he'd be good at it."

"The Marauders. . ." Lily mused. "Can I write my sister about it? She and I are twins and I tell her everything. Besides, I bet she's got some good muggle pranks I forgot about. We should write a book about it! All the pranks we do and how to do them. It'll be so cool."

"What if we make books like that with all our spells?" Remus asked. "I mean, it'd be hard, but then we could make a book for each of us and have them copy one another. It'd be a huge collection of spells, and we could each do our job, and all of us would have the information."

"A big spell book. With research and an index and a shrinking charm and. . ." Sirius drifted off in thought, nodding slowly.

"That's a great idea, Remmy!" James praised. "I think it would make life much easier! We could have the biggest reference to carry around with us! An innocent looking book with different section and a special reveal section to show the pranks we've done so people can't just find them! And put a password on it so people can steal it and use it against us! You are so smart!"

Lily grinned, then turned to face the others. "I think we should do an oath. My sister and I always read about them. A bunch of friends would become blood siblings and cut their hands and press the cuts together."

"I've heard about that, only in wizarding style," Lucius mused. "That'd be really neat! We could start doing that and probably have all the information next year! Then we'd be siblings. . . kind of. But we could have some sort of iniation thing if other people want to join and then they couldn't tell our secrets and stuff and it would be awesome!"

"We are going to have the best club ever!" Lily's excited voice carried through the library as they left and the others' cheers of agreement echoed down the halls.

**oOooOo**


	4. Thinking What is Eternal

Rising of the Moon

Part Four

Year One

Element Four

Thinking What is Eternal

**Author's Note:**

This will eventually be slash, but since they're all eleven right now, so no worries yet. I'll let you know when that changes.

Disclaimer: I don't own. Sorry.

Well, I'm glad everyone is liking the story! There aren't a lot of reviews, but there are a lot of hits! I totally appreicate it! It's nice to know people are reading and enjoying the story! It's keeping readers really well, which is nice, and I really wish everyone who was reading would send me a review! I'd have hundreds!

I'd like to give a special thanks to those that did review. I enjoyed them all! Thank you so much!

In any case, I hope you like the next chapter!

**oOooOo**

Remus sat in the window ledge in his dormitory, staring out at the almost full moon pratically radiating the sadness he felt coursing through his veins. He was clutching Conall tightly, cuddling the gray stuffed wolf with all his might, wishing the full moon would never come and he could be normal for just a little longer--or forever. He only had a few more days until he would turn into that horrible monster, that horrible horrible creature that lived inside him and howled and raged and tried to get out. But he didn't let it out until he had too.

The wolf wasn't _always_ bad. It like Hogwarts. It wanted to sniff around this new place and see what it was like. The wolf was curious about this big castle that held so many neat scents. It didn't attack people until the full moon when it was out in full form unless Remus wasn't being fed enough. He had spent the last five years battling with the creature inside of himself to keep it from trying to eat people since his body was starving, hardly getting enough to eat for a growing child and it only got worse as he got older and needed more food, food he was never given. But now that he was eating enough, the wolf was content, most times, to be curious about the place Remus was going to school.

Now it was becoming more dominate, though, and Remus was scared. He'd found himself in the hallways sniffing things more than once because he, and the wolf, wanted to know what it smelled like. He was terrified that his friends would figure out what he was hiding, that they would figure out what he his keeping from them. It was the first full moon since he got here, and he was also scared his friends would figure out his secret just like that. He hadn't done anything so far that would tip them off, and so far they hadn't said anything. Sirius had made one comment on his teeth--his canines were larger than normal because of the wolf--but no one else had really noticed and he felt that it was okay as long as acted like everyone else.

He was also scared that he and the wolf would merge and he would only be an animal and hurt people. People had always told him that if he let the wolf merge with him it would kill everyone near-by. He tried to keep it to himself though, and hide the signs of the monster he was inside. Most werewolves, he'd figured, smiled without showing teeth so people wouldn't notice, but since they'd already seen his teeth and he'd only shruggered so they'd passed it off as some birth defect, he continued to act as he had before. Still, his friends were smart and they were bound to figure it out eventually. He bit his lip and looked over to his friends.

Sirius rolled over and nearly fell onto the floor, and James muttered something about broomsticks and dungbombs in his sleep. Remus eyes brows were cordially introduced to his hairline over the last one, something told him he did _not_ want to know what that was about. The stone floors were nice and cool, compared to the odd sort of heat wave the latter part of the month ended up as, which was why they were all sleeping in just boxer shorts with sheets and the curtians and windows wide open. And why he was watching them in their sleep. It was too hot for him to enjoy the bed he was sleeping in, being unused to something that retained body heat so well and he was trying to cool off. His friends just happen to be amusing while they slept and Remus wanted to savor every moment he had friends, because once they found out, he'd never have friends again at the school, if he was even allowed back to the school. With that thought, Remus sent another look to his friends and headed back to his bed.

Before he fell asleep, Remus smiled at his friends, praying they didn't figure it out this year, at least, and he crawled into bed, praying for the impossible.

**oOooOo**

The library the next day wasn't too crowded, and it was fairly quite, unlike somedays. Remus was contentedly lounging by one window in "Their Corner". The older years stayed away from the back corner of the library, and no one seemed to know that tucked between the two large shelves near the back was a small room, probably once used as a study room, with a single table, several floor cushions, a large window that almost took up the entire back wall, and a window ledge the size of a seat with a cushion on it that went around three sides of the room.

That was Remus' and Sirius' spots, right in front of the window. Lily liked a chair pulled up to one side of the window, using the ledge as a desk, set at the perfect angle to catch the sun but not let the sun get in her eyes. James sat in or next to the doorway, usually, sprawled on one of the cusions on the floor. Serverus preferred a chair at the table oppostie from the window, though he usually leaned back and braced the chair against the wall on two legs. Lucius also preferred the table, the side that was in the sun so it warmed his back.

It was nice in there, and the group was simply enjoying one another's company, basking in the warm sun. They would have gone down to the lake but they were busy trying to actually get some work done because they were a little behind in their school work since they had been looking up blood blonds. Books were strewn around the small room, and each of them were bent over at least one book, and usually a dictionary too, trying to find something.

"Oh, hey!" Lucius held up a book and grinned proudly. "I think I've found something!"

"Really?" The group glanced at each other, then to the other boy. "What is it?"

"Not much. I've found a history on blood magic. It's really, really complicated. Sometime it takes _years_ to complete. But I've found something easier. And better. And not quite as illegal." Lucius grinned at that last part. The others chuckled as well. Lucius tended to have a rather dry sense of humor.

The six crowded around the book, looking over each other's shoulders, shorter (Remus and Lily) in the front, taller (James and Sirius) in the back, and Serverus leaning across the table to read it upside down. That was Serverus' strange quirk. He could read and write upside down and sideways and it never failed to amaze the others. "That is easier," Sirius finally agreed. "A tattoo that can't be removed that's infused with magic. We'll be able to sense where each other is, and it will make us empathic towards each other. We won't get telepathy, but this says that no blood binding does that."

"And we can make our own marking," Lily glanced through the book, idlely flipping pages to examine the bond more colsely. "But it's going to be really, really hard. This says it tends to be difficult for some adult wizards, though there aren't really any effects if it goes wrong. It just won't work, peroid. No bond either way. And more people can be added to the original group if one so desires."

"Good. That means it's exactly what we're looking for. Luc, Sev, you two will have to do the potions. You're the best at them. . ." Sirius ran a finger down what they'd need. "But we'll have to steal some of the ingredients for the potion. And it takes almost year and a half to brew."

"That's no problem," Lucius glanced it over. "What about you guys?"

"Remus should research it. We should know _exactly_ what it does and who created it. And if it works on muggles." James gestured to the werewolf. Remus sighed. Good, then he could make sure he could actually use it too, though he wasn't sure what he'd tell them if he couldn't. "He's the best at that. Lily and Sirius can do the charms for it. They are the best at charms, though Sirius just barely. Lily can do whatever she wants to make it work."

"Petunia's in on it?"

"Of course!" James grinned. "She'll be real helpful later, too! But what should I do?"

"You can steal our potions ingredients," Serverus grinned. "You're the best at that!" To that, James stuck his tongue out, but then grinned proudly. He was a good thief, though not quite as good as Remus. Unfortunatly, Remus didn't think stealing was the way to go so it wasn't likely he'd ever steal anything that wasn't a life or death situation.

**oOooOo**

Remus had never had as much fun in his life as watching the group work together. He always felt on the outside of things, looking in and wishing he was a part of it, but this time he really was a part of something. The group were his friends, though he wasn't sure how long that would last, and none of them seemed to mind that he was a foot shorter than them, or that he couldn't always keep up physically, or that he had to have Conall in his grasp a great deal of the time they were alone, or that he loved to read.

They accepted everything about him that they knew. It made him wish he could tell them what he was so they could fully accept him, but he knew if he told them they'd push him away and he didn't want to lose the only friends he'd ever really known.

Currently he was trying to keep up in a game of tag. For some reason the others liked to play games like hide and seek and tag which involved a lot of running and chasing, things Remus wasn't very good at yet. He could keep up if they were walking, but he really wasn't any good at a run for a long time. He was still far too weak. What he didn't know was that they did it to help him keep up. It helped him gain stamina and build his muscles. It was the night of the full moon and he didn't want it to come. He wanted the day to last forever so he could have his friends for just a little longer.

"Remus?" Lily called. "Are you going to come after me or not because I'm getting a little bored here."

Remus blinked and grinned. He had stopped to think and that was silly. Now was a time for fun. Even the wolf agreed. The wolf liked these people, even if they were human. In fact, Remus didn't feel at all inclined to attempt to eat them. That might change with the full moon, but the wolf considered these people his pack and James was the Alpha. Which suited Remus. Remus simply wasn't alpha material.

He dashed after Lily and managed to catch her, then took off in the other direction. No tag-backs was a wonderful rule. Unfortuantly, Lily was the fastest of the entire group and has soon tagged Serverus, who went after Lucius, and so it went, their laughter ringing over the land.

Unbeknownst to them, Albus Dumbledore, sitting in his tower, heard their laughter. He smiled and looked outside, eyes glittering. "Ah, the laughter of children," He murmured, then caught sight of Remus.

Mentally, Dumbledore compared the happy child he was looking at to the sickly boy he had seen in the orphanage just over a month ago. Remus was no longer a pale little wraith, but had a healthly flush to his skin as well as the beginnings of a tan. Lily always made sure Remus wore sun screen since he was so pale, but that was beginning to change.

The small werewolf was doing well in Hogwarts. Dumbledore smiled, wise blue eyes twinkling. Remus had shown no destructive tendencies, and had more patience that anyone Dumbledore had ever seen, including Dumbledore himself making the old wizard glad he had given the boy a chance. "I think you'll do well here, pup," Dumbledore whispered to himself. "And I also think that you should tell your friends. But you'll do that when you learn they won't leave you for something you can't help."

As though he could hear those soft spoken words of advice, Remus looked up towards the tower window where the headmaster sat and their eyes almost seemed to meet. The headmaster smiled and as fast as the moment was there it was gone and Remus was back to chasing his friends in their game.  
**oOooOo**

Hours later Remus began to drag himself to the hospital wing, claiming he didn't feel well. He really didn't, his stomache was in knots and all he really wanted to do was cry and tell the others what he was and beg them not to hate him. Instead he walked slowly towards the hospital wing with Sirius and James. The two boys had their arms wrapped around him, and Remus was clutching Conall tightly, biting his tongue to keep from spilling everything.

The three spent their time talking about the wonderful pranks they were going to pull and how great their books were coming. Petunia had heard of their plight and sent them some nice hardcover books with heavy paper that they had the librian spell to add pages every time they need one but not appear bigger. She had also added an alphabetizing charm to it. They had told her the first part of their project--all the stuff they wanted to put in them--and the librarian had smiled, telling them she'd help anyway she could, including teaching them the spells they needed to know. Lily had added passwords later, as well as the special pranks section, and they were beautiful. On the cover, Petunia had written "Book of Shadows". Lily had giggled upon seeing it, it was a running joke between her and her sister.

She then explained. In the muggle fiction books about magic, the book they kept all their spells in was call the "Book of Shadows". So when Lily had told her sister what the books were for, it had become a joke. Lily had charmed one for Petunia to, though Petunia's was for her school work or for a diary. Petuania had loved it. And Lily had called Petunia's the "Book of Shadows" too.

The hospital wing came far too soon, and when Madame Pomfrey appeared to whisk Remus off, she kicked out Sirius and James without another word. Remus shivered, and handed her Conall, who he knew better than to take with him lest the stuffed wolf be destroyed. It would have been nice to have his friend while he waited for the change, but he knew better. There was no safe place to leave Conall and nowhere to leave anything else, either. He would have to leave his robes in the passage leading to the shrieking shack--that's what the house had been dubbed--and he knew it was going to be cold. Still, there was nothing else for it so he followed Madame Pomfrey out to the shrieking shack and smiled as she left, waiting only for Remus to hand her his robes before locking the door.

Remus shivered. He hated the wait. The transformation was slightly painful and it was hard on his body, but it was as bad as everyone made it sound. In fact, what really hurt was the halfway stage where his bones were re-arranging themselves. That was the most painful part, but Remus would always sit and breathe slowly and wait because the transformation didn't take long and it only hurt while it was happening. It was worse when he was cold, though.

A shudder ripped through his small body and Remus concentraited on his breathing. His body began to twist and writhe, but Remus gave it no thought, thinking only of his breathing and concentraiting on accepting the pain but not allowing it to hurt. Then it stopped hurting and a howl tore past his lips.

Remus remembered what he did during the transformations, no one knew that. Most werewolves did, no one believed them when they said that, though. Just as the wolf mind was always there and always aware of what Remus did, Remus knew exactly what the wolf did.

The wolf didn't like this place. It wanted out and back to Hogwarts. It would be happy and warm at Hogwarts where it would be fed--though some instinct told the wolf it wouldn't be allowed to eat the students--and warm as well as with its pack. It had looked forward to being allowed out and exploring the large and interesting castle, eating some good meat--steak was preferred when people weren't available, and playing with its packmates. Remus tried to soothe the wolf and tell it that people thought it was dangerous, but, and not for the first time, the wolf refused to listen. It bit itself and chewed on itself and threw itself at the door leaving a burn mark from the silver handle. Remus had told the headmaster to make it silver because Remus wasn't too sure if the wolf could open doors.

The wolf howled in pain and sadness, and Remus howled right along with it.

A few hours later found Remus curled up on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, bloody, torn, and in a great amount of pain. He gave a small whimper as he struggled to get to his feet. The moon had set and he had to get out. He had to move. If he didn't have the place cleaned up, Smyth would beat him something awful. The wolf in him let out a pitiful whine, and Remus echoed the sound, wincing as it irritated his sore and dry throat, and sniffed. He really wanted Conall. The wolf seemed to understand the sentiment and let out a whimper, and Remus had to agree. He hurt all over. He rolled over, struggling to get up, struggling to stand, and cried out in pain.

The wolf, unhappy that there was no food, no people, no packmates, no nifty castle, and absolutly nothing to do, had not liked the sentiment and gnawed on itself in retaliation knowing that, while it was hurting itself, it was hurting Remus too. It was a bad transformation and all Remus wanted to do was sleep, but if he didn't clean the place, Smyth would beat him or burn him with silver, two things he really didn't want because it would set back his healing and probably re-open a lot of the already closed and mending wounds.

He managed to get to his feet before he remembered that he was at Hogwarts, safe from the violent headmaster and his objects of torture. A cry of pain passed his lips when his hand found the silver burn and he swayed unsteadily. He managed three steps; then, his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the floor, his head meeting the wood with a heavy crack.

And everything was black.

**oOooOo**


	5. The Man or The Moment

Rising of the Moon

Part Five

Year One

Element Five

The Man or the Moment

**Author's Notes:**

This will eventually be slash, but since they're all eleven, everyone is safe for now. I will post a notice when that changes, I swear.

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter, so please don't sue me. I'm poor.

I'm glad that people like this story, I enjoy writing it, and Remus seems to different in it, to me. I'm enjoying weaving all the strands of the taspestry together, and I will, at the end, hope everything is suffeciently explained. If anyone gets confused, tell me so I can revise. It's not my intention. Just that I have a tendancy to skip over details that turn into rather important things.

Please enjoy the next chapter!

**oOooOo**

Months passed quickly, days blurring to become undistuingshable. The Maruaders pulled several pranks over the course of the school year, each one more outragous than the first. No house was safe and everyone got hit eqaully. The groups favourite motto became that of, "I'm not prejudiced, I prank everyone equally." Lily's sister, Petunia, had sent it to them, and while they _had_ revised it slightly, it suited them quite well.

Petunia was still something of a mystery, but they were planning to meet the mysterious girl over the summer. The five boys had already become good penfriends with Lily's twin sister, and Petunia had regularly sent them pranking advice. It worked out very well. Some of the pranks were so muggle, even Dumbledore found himself laughing at many of their excursions. And with the rising of a new Dark Wizard, the pranks were more than welcome; most saw them as a much needed relief. Unless, of course, they were the ones targeted.

Remus glanced at the clock in the library, smiling. They had just finished planning their next prank and they were all a little sleepy. He noticed the time on the clock, however, and cursed. That caught the attention of his friends, Remus _never_ cursed. He almost never got angry, too. In fact, he was the first person to put himself in the line of fire whenever there _was_ an argument.

"I-I have to go," Was all he managed before he sprinted out of the library and towards the hospital wing. Two full moons left this year, and he was going to blow it! So close to the year's end and now they would know. That just topped everything. Remus sniffed, tears streaming down his face as he raced to the hospital wing. Only a month left and they were going to find out his secret. It just wasn't fair.

**oOooOo**

The other Marauders looked at each other in awe, having never heard the small werewolf curse before. "What's gotten into him?" Lucius wondered. "It's like he's got PMS! You know, like it's 'that time of the month' just like my older cousin. I wonder what his problem is."

All five of them stopped dead. "That time of the month?" James breathed.

Their eyes grew wide and Serverus shook his head in denial even as Lily and Sirius ripped open their books. Sirius looked up first, his eyes wet with tears.

"A werewolf appears a normal human all but one day a month," Sirius read from the Defense Against the Dark Arts section, "but there are ways to tell them apart. Their eyes will glow a more golden colour the closer the full moon is, then fade back into their natural colour as the moon wans unless they had brown eyes to start with. If that was the case, their eyes are permenatly a golden amber color that is often described as 'Wolf Gold'. Most werewolves also has a frail sickly appearence, but possess inhuman strength when they are at full health. Their hearing, smell, and vision are sharper than a regular human's, but they are almost always at least partially colourblind, usually to reds and oranges, or blues and purples. They also trend to have larger canine teeth than a normal human, and because of it, will smile with their mouths closed. Their nails are also generally longer and tend to be fairly sharp. The Ministry of Magic makes these savage beasts register as magical creatures, and are given dog tags. Werewolves are required to show these tags to all doctors, as well as anyone that asks, and may be denied entrance, help, or service, in any business, or hospital."

"And these are the dates Remus has been missing," Lily murmured, showing them her astronomy charts. "Every day he left was the full moon. And he always came back hurt in some way."

"And his teeth are bigger than normal. Remember when I said something? Remus looked kind of frightened and told he it was a defect and he couldn't help it. Of course he couldn't! It was because he's a monster!" Sirius growled. "He should be put down. I bet the teachers know, though! That's why Umbridge called him a half-blood. Not because he's got a muggle parent but because he's a werewolf!"

"Monsters, the lot of them," Serverus growled. "One killed my mother. He should be put down. A silver bullet right to the heart! We should get him expelled form school if nothing else. Who wants a monster in the school? Not me! He's viscous and stupid and it's things like him that took my mother!"

Lucius looked from one to the other. "How did he get accepted if he was a werewolf anyway?"

"Who cares?" James growled. "It all makes sense now! How could he? And that's why he's so attached to the stupid wolf he always carries around with him! And why he talks to it!"

Lily shook her head for a moment. "Maybe we should talk to him first?" She suggested, not really understanding the prejudices against werewolves. "Remus is a sweet person. It's not his fault that he has a problem like that. Something must have happened that caused it. We should talk to him before we jump to any conclusions."

"Oh, we'll _talk_." James replied. "We'll make sure he knows exactly what he is. We'll meet in here at three o'clock tomorrow with Remus. Pretend there's nothing wrong. We want him to know _exactly_ what we think of him, okay?"

Looks of hate passed their faces and Lily frowned. Remus surely had a side to the story. But there was little she could do. She'd just have to show up and try to keep the damage down. She had a feeling that they boys would end up regretting what they were about to do and she was going to make sure that it didn't happen.  
**oOooOo**

Remus stumbled into the common room, trying to see straight. The wolf had hit his head last night and now he was a little dizzy. No concussion, fortunatly, but it wasn't nice either. He made it up the stairs and managed to get a quick shower to wash the dried blood off and stumbled into bed, promptly falling into a deep sleep.

What he didn't know was that Sirius and James were watching with a camera, and had gotten a picture of his dog tags and his bite scar. They growled lowly and headed toward the library. Three o'clock and everything would be settled once and for all. Before they left however, they cast one last glance towards Remus. He was curled around Conall and seemed to be crying. Normally they would have woken him from the nightmare, but not this time. This time he could just deal with it himself.

At three they woke him up, seeming to be their normal selves and Remus didn't have the people skills to know they were only pretending. "Come on, Lucius and Serverus want to talk to us. They think they've found something," James muttered, shaking Remus awake.

"Okay," Remus stretched and rolled out of bed, grabbing Conall. He like to hold the stuffed animal after a transformation; it made him feel better. He blinked, more awake, and turned to look at both Sirius and James. They were acting kind of funny, but he wasn't sure why.

They lead him to their normal spot in the library where Serverus, Lucius, and Lily were waiting. James and Sirius herded him inside, and then he knew something was really wrong when they blocked the door. "So, thought you could fool us, did you werewolf?" James demanded, throwing the pictures down in front of him.

Remus looked up with wide wolf gold eyes. "I-I-I d-didn't--I mean--"

"Didn't want to tell us you were a monster, huh?" Serverus broke in. "Just thought you'd wait and attack us in our sleep?"

"N-no," Remus whispered, clutching Conall tighter. "I'd never hurt you! You're my friends!"

Sirius stepped forward and punched him, hard, sending him flying across the room and into the ledge on the other side. Remus groaned and curled up, trying to keep from getting too badly hurt. He also curled around Conall, trying to keep the others from taking the stuffed wolf, the only friend he'd have after the beat him up and got him expelled--if he was actually allowed to keep the stuffed animal.

Sirius noticed the movement and grabbed the stuffed wolf. "No!" Remus uncurled, trying to get the wolf only to be kicked by James. The breath left his body in a whoosh and he collapsed back to the ground, crying. Sirius was looking at the stuffed wolf in a nasty fashion when Remus looked up.

Everyone halted. Large wolf gold eyes set in a pale face implored for them to just leave him be. "I-I-I kn-knew y-you wouldn't w-want t-t-to be m-my friend when--when y-you found out," Remus managed through his tears. "I--I knew y-y-you'd ha-hate m-me."

"Is there a point?" James kicked him again, sending him to the floor, and Remus sniffled.

"I'd n-never had friends," Remus told them timidly. "They kept me locked in a room. Con-conall was my first friend."

Serverus kicked him, this time. "That's where you should be, locked up. No one wants to be friends with a monster."

Remus flinched back, hitting the wall. The barb had hurt far more than the kick. "I just. . . I didn't. . . I was being stupid and selfish," Remus sobbed softly. "All I wanted was a f-f-friend an--and then you were there--and--and--and," He stopped, and managed to get to his knees and look imploringly at Sirius. "P-please just give me back C-Conall. I'll never speak to you again if--if you don't w-want me to. Just. . . please."

"Oh? What if we don't want you to come back here, ever?" Lucius demanded. "What if we out you to the whole school?"

"Please don't," Remus begged. He didn't even bother to try to stop the sobs. "I'll do anything. Just don't make them send me back. I'll. . . I'll be your slave and do whatever you want. Just, please don't tell everyone. I--wanted--" He fell silent, looking from one to the other and seeing no sypathy in their gazes. He couldn't even meet Lily's eyes in his shame. "Please don't," He managed, and began to sob.

Serverus pinned him harshly to the ground with a foot, and Remus didn't even struggle, not even when he pressed down hard, just allowed the tears to stream down his face. "So you admit you're a monster and never should have come?"

"Yes," Remus whimpered softly. "If it pleases you. Just don't send me back. Please." Serverus released slightly, then pressed down again briefly making Remus choke slightly before releasing him altogether. Remus managed to get to his knees again, head bowed. "I just. . . I just wanted. . . to be normal," Remus murmured, tears falling harder. "I just wanted to learn. Everyone else turned me away and I just wanted to know what it was like--I never meant to hurt anyone. I didn't want--"

All Remus really wanted was Conall, to have something to hold and something that loved him--sort of. "Please, can I have Conall?" He begged. "That's all I want. Just Conall. And I'll go and never come back. Just, please don't hurt Conall."

His small body was wracked with sobs and he was shivering and shaking. Bruises were forming on his pale face where James had punched him and one of the others had hit him, and his wolf gold eyes were wide, sparkling with his falling tears. "Please, just give me Conall."

It was an eternal moment when everything seemed to halt, when the world seemed to tilt on it's side even as Sirius looked down at Remus, about to offer a scathing remark, when he remember the first time he'd seen the small boy on the train, and when he'd taken Conall the first time. It was then that the others seemed to remember their own times that Remus had jumped in, even--and especially--when they were in danger of being hurt, and had done his best to help them, even to the point of taking the intended hit.

Sirius knelt by Remus and handed the small werewolf Conall and wrapped his arms around Remus' shaking body. "I'm sorry," He told the small werewolf, holding him tightly. Lily was the next to join them.

"I should have spoken up," She told him passionatly. "I should have said something."

One by one the others approached the small figure, wrapping him in hugs and whispering apologies. Remus stopped crying and buried his face in Sirius' shoulder. "I'll--I'll go now. You don't have to pretend to be my friend," Remus sniffled. "Really. I'll just. . . I'll just go. But you can use me if you want. I--just don't tell the school." He fought to get our of their arms, but none of them let go.

"We aren't pretending," Sirius told him gently, stroking the small figure's long hair. "We really are sorry. It was so stupid of us. You aren't a monster."

"You turn into one once a month, but that doesn't make you any less our friend," Lily agreed. "What you are is a sweet person that was placed in difficult circumstances."

"And we were too blind to the prejudices of ourselves and the rest of the wizarding world to believe that," Serverus agreed. "We won't tell."

"And we would be honored if you'd still be our friend," James told Remus, smiling slightly.

Remus looked up with wide eyes and nodded furiously. "I'll always be your friend. I would have been even if you'd hated me. You. . . don't?"

"No. We were mad you hid something like that from us. But you'll always be our friend," Lucius told him. "So, what about some dinner?"

Remus wiped his eyes and nodded, managing a watery smile. "I'd like that."

The others smiled and headed towards the Great Hall, Sirius with an arm still wrapped protectively around the small werewolf. "You really don't mind, Serverus?" Sirius asked softly. "I mean, what with your mother and all?"

"His mother?" Remus asked, tilting his head to look up at Serverus. Remus knew Serverus' mother was dead, but that was about the extent of his knowledge.

"She was attacked and killed by a werewolf," Serverus growled. "I--I hated them. But you, you're Remus. I mean, I knew you before I knew the werewolf part, and you're a good person. Maybe there are good werewolves, but--that bastard killed my mother!"

"What happened?" Remus clutched Conall tighter and gulped.

"They killed it." Severus shrugged.

"Him," Remus corrected. "We may be monsters once a month, but we're still people too. The problem is, most people don't have a safe place to go, and if they do and get out, who's going to chase them down? Usually isn't not as issue as long as they're in a woods and have eaten, but sometimes the blood lust just becomes too much and. . . well, things happen. No one means for it too."

"Where did you go?"

"I just put all my things in my trunk and stayed locked in my room," Remus murmured. "The door was sturdy and the walls were stone and the door generally stayed locked, and the handle was silver so I couldn't open it anyway."

"Were you ever let out?"

"I was allowed to shower once a week--usually anyway, and I was given scraps though the small flap on the bottom of the door. I got a week's ration of water in a bucket, and it wasn't half bad," The werewolf shrugged. "I didn't have a bed, just my blanket and pillow, and I had a robe and some books."

"How old were you? When you were bitten, I mean," Sirius asked.

"Five."

"Five? And they just dumped you outside the orphanage?"

"At least I don't have to go to the ministy," Remus shivered. "The werewolves that go there, most of them don't have any sort of medical attention. At least the headmaster gave me bandages. They just leave them in the small cold cells. They're scary, I saw them once. They're the size of a small closet, only as wide as the door and it's almost impossible for a fully grown werewolf to not touch it once they're transformed and the doors are all silver, not just the knob. Half the werewolves bleed to death because no one cares about them. And sometimes if one of the people are having a bad day, they go shoot a werewolf or two. With silver bullets."

"You've had to transform in one," James looked thoughtful. Hesitently, Remus nodded.

"I was okay, though. I'm just a pup so I'm not as big. I could avoid the door, and the wolf was so scared that I curled in a corner all night and stayed really quiet. It was just after I got bitten--my second transformation. We heard two wolves die, and it was so scary. . ."

Remus was sheet white by that point and shaking so hard the others thought he might collapse. They slipped into a secret passage they'd found, and Remus clung more tightly to Sirius. James growled. "They won't treat you like that again, Remmy. We'll get you out of there, you'll see. You're friends with some of the most important people in the wizarding world, and we'll make sure we fix this. It's not right."

Remus managed a smile and nodded. He'd believe James, despite the beating they'd given him ealier. Most of them were just very angry that Remus had kept such a secret, though Severus really was trying to overcome the prejudices he had learned over the past seven years. It would be a hard road, but one they were all willing to tread.  
**oOooOo**

"I'm never going to make it," Lily wailed. The marauders and Narcissa were sitting in the Library trying to revise for exams and Lily was in the middle of a melt down. "How am I supposed to revise this? It's not right! Why can't I just have to look at it all instead of figuring out what I'm supposed to learn?"

Narcissa rolled her eyes and slapped a hand over Lily's mouth. "Shut up, Lily. You aren't going to die, and it's just first year exams. It's not like they'll kick us out if we don't do prefectly. No one takes these exams real seriously. They know that we've never taken exams before."

It was a week before exams and Lily had shoved their noses to the grindstone. Remus was doing better now that they had learned his secret. They had told him that they were going to help him make excuses at the full moon, and they were also going to help him with the school work he missed if he needed the day to sleep, which he often did.

Narcissa didn't know about Remus' lycanthropy, though she did know about their books. She liked the idea--well, she didn't know about the prank part, but other than that she liked them--and so Lily had asked Petunia for another book for Narcissa. "I don't see why you're so worried, Lily," Narcissa scolded. "You have everything in that book of yours. Now stop being stupid. You're worse than my cousin."

"Shut up, Narcissa," Sirius grumbled. "It's not like you don't have a meltdown every now and again. Or do I need to remind you what happened the last time Serverus and I put frogs in your bed?"

"Ew!" Narcissa shuddered. "You're such a brute, Sirius!"

Lily giggled. "Yes, but did you tell her what happened when _I_ put frogs in _your_ bed?"

"Miss Lily should stop talking if she knows what's good for her," Sirius hissed. "Or else you're going to find yourself as a part of _my_ pranks."

Lily made a face at him. They hadn't pranked the school really big yet, they didn't have the knowledge, though they did have some good pranks for when they did get the knowledge. They were currently working on a big prank for holloween of the next year, though. All they really had left was to plan its execution and Petunia needed to finish the crest for the Marauders. Lily had given her sister that job, and Petunia, who loved to draw, was more than happy to comply.

"When are we going to your house for the summer, Lils?" James glanced up from his book where he was trying to find a potion for something or another.

"Mum said you could come over at the end of July. Why?" Lily frowned at her chart and turned it sideways to scribble something else on it.

"Wondered. Do you have an owl?"

"Of course I have an owl. How on earth do you think I've been writing my sister you numbskull?" Lily rolled her eyes and continued to write in her tiny, cramped fashion. "You'd think these things would be larger." It was already mostly covered in words, and she was busy filling in every empty space she could find.

"Right. I'll let you be, then," James raised an eyebrow wondering what she could possibly be putting on that paper, then shrugged. It didn't really matter and he wasn't entirely sure he cared. He _did_ have exams to study for, after all.  
**oOooOo**

"It's over and we all passed at the top of the class!" Serverus whooped. Serverus had aced the potions test, scoring the best in the class. "Father will be so proud of me!"

"Mother is _not_ going to be pleased," Sirius grumbled.

"She's not still pissy over that whole 'Gryffindor' thing, is she Siri?" Lily asked. "I mean, that was at the beginning of the year."

"You'd be surprised how long Mum holds a grudge," Sirius grumbled. The group had all gotten hundreds in everything with Narcissa right behind them in grades.

"But you did really well, Siri, and the only reason you're not really number one is because they don't _have_ a number one this year. We all did exactly the same! But your name is in the first slot." James smirked. "You can just tell her that and leave out the part where we all did the exact same."

Sirius made a face, then the group went to play outside. A game of tag sounded good, expecially to Remus who was bound to be locked back in his room when he returned to the orphanage. They ran outside, screaming, and Narcissa laughed. "Join us, 'Cuz," Sirius called in a horrible imitation of an American accent.

"All right, all right," She called, then ran up to Sirius and tagged him. "You're it!"

"No fair! You'll pay! Remus, get over here!"

The group dashed away giggling, and the older students on the lawn found themselves laughing right along with them. The little eleven years olds had done what no one thought anyone could do and united the houses. Well, except Hufflepuff, really, but they seemed to like Hufflepuff students so the house was just fine. They weren't being snubbed and they were treated about like normal, lovable but a bit slow on occasion.

Then, just like that, it was time to go back home for the summer. Remus dreaded the trip, but followed along anway, not at all happy about it. In fact, the first thing Smyth did when they got back to the orphanage was slap him and take his trunk to hide it. Remus had managed to keep a hold of Conall and the book Serverus had given him because both things had been tucked in his robes, as was his wand, but his candle wasn't. Remus sighed. This rather sucked.  
**oOooOo**


End file.
